It’s the time of year when divorced and separated parents have to agree on making arrangements for children at Christmas. It can be really difficult for the parent who doesn’t live with the children; they may feel isolated from their family.
Here’s Gillbanks Family Law advice on making arrangements for children at Christmas.
Many couples manage to work together and set aside their differences for the sake of the children over the festive period, and if you can agree things between you, it will make lives a lot easier. If you have a child arrangement order, it may already specify the arrangements for children at Christmas and other holidays, but if not, most orders do allow for some flexibility without having to return to the court to have the terms varied. If there are any disagreements, it’s best to get the details down in writing, even if they have been resolved.
From a legal point of view, if a resident parent doesn’t grant access to the non-resident parent voluntarily over Christmas, it might be possible to resolve the issue amicably. Bear in mind that even if your relationship has broken down, courts prefer to see fair arrangements being made for children at this time of year, and assume that in the vast majority of cases, children want to see both of their parents at some point over the festive period. If you’re not sure, contact one of our trained family law experts at Gillbanks Family Law who will be happy to help.
Top tips for making arrangements for children at Christmas.
Think about the arrangements for the children early.
Start the conversation with your children’s other parent as soon as you can, to make sure you can agree the arrangements well in advance.
Be fair and compromise if necessary.
Did you have the children on Christmas day last year? Why not suggest alternating every year? There’s nothing to stop you having an extra ‘Christmas Day’ later, and giving your children two Christmas days is unlikely to cause them any upset!
Think longer term.
Instead of trying to hammer it out every year, why not come to a long-term agreement for Christmas, and other holidays? It doesn’t have to be just about Christmas Day, you could agree on a whole week for the non-resident parent every year, or longer blocks of time that fit in with school holidays. Make it work for your own situation.
Don’t forget the grandparents (and wider family)
If grandparents and extended family don’t have the chance to see their grandchildren year-on-year, it’s likely to cause resentment and upset. Depending on which side of the family are missing out, you could suggest inviting them to a ‘fake Christmas day’ or suggest a trip to a Christmas market, to see the lights or similar when they could see the children and give them presents.
Ditch the competition.
While we all want to make sure our children have the best Christmas, don’t fall into the trap of trying to outdo their other parent. Work together if you can, to find out what the other parent is buying, to avoid duplication or obvious going over the top with gifts. Children may try to play parents off against each other but keeping in contact with your ex should avoid unwelcome surprises.
Ask for help.
If you’re struggling with making arrangements for the children at Christmas, you might need to call on professional support. Our experienced family lawyers at Gillbanks Family Law are happy to help, so get in touch! It’s in everyone’s best interest to sit down and work it out before communication breaks down.
Have a wonderful festive season from all at Gillbanks Family Law